Independent life consists of currently not being a relationship, entangled, situationship or even a confused and jumbled mess… haven’t we all been there.
Often, within the Christian community, there is frustration at the men ‘not stepping up to the plate’. Women can feel as though a lot of the men have become complacent in deciding whether or not they are going to settle down but then the men can often feel as though a lot of the women are too eager. So where do we go from here?
There is also a lot of mixed advice that people try to give to be helpful if you are living a more independent life whilst having a healthy desire for marriage – I say ‘healthy’ because sometimes it can be unhealthy but we shall save that for another day. Some of the advice can be so conflicting and confusing:
- Live your life and ignore how you feel
- Pray about it and acknowledge how you feel
- Just enjoy the season you are in
- Don’t think about it too much
- Don’t look for it and it will come to you.
Then you can sometimes come across married people who tell you to embrace the season your are in because once the family and busyness of life starts then you will love those quiet moments. This is neither here nor there on the category of helpful advice. Once you have passed a moment in time you can’t go back and re-live it so it doesn’t make sense.
Circumstances can change and feelings can change, so when it comes to living that independent life as a woman you may have days where you don’t think about marriage. However, there may also be days where you wish you would just meet your spouse so you can love him. None of the advice above is a one-size-fits-all-every-day and it is important that each one is taken with a pinch of salt.
Enjoy every season that God has you in, look for the joy within the season and find a reason to thank God for where He has you. But amongst all of that acknowledge how you feel; when Hannah wanted a child she continuously cried out to the Lord and He heard her prayer. There is nothing wrong with wanting something or someone to enter your life, but it is important to recognise that that person or thing is a blessing from God. With blessings come the responsibility to care for, love and look after it.